OH to H2O

Well it's been a long time between drinks...I mean posts!  Over a year in fact since I last put a rambling on the interweb and let me be cheesy for a moment, how time has flown!  So what has inspired me to post now you may ask?!  I am nearing the end of successfully completing a New Year's resolution - one year without alcohol.  None.  Nadda.  Zip.  Zilch.  I have in the past done a year without alcohol with a few "get out of jail free" cards (it was 3 or 4 occasions where I allowed myself to drink that year) and I wanted to up the ante.  Why?

In my late 20s there was a couple of key events that changed the trajectory of my life (I know, it sounds dramatic, stay with me!).  One of my close friend's took me on a weekend retreat where I was introduced to a book that completely changed my mind's outlook (The 7AHA!s of Highly Enlightened Souls by Mike George) and this little book, along with the introduction to Terry Hawkins, honestly started paving a new way of how I perceived the world.  As I started reading more and more I quickly realised that the people I admired, and in particular the women I admired (Lisa Messenger from The Collective for example), didn't drink alcohol.  They had given it up...for life!

So, for quite a few years I ruminated on whether I would ever, in my lifetime, give up alcohol completely.  It isn't a foreign concept to me, my Dad has virtually been alcohol free since I can remember because of the health of his liver.  The reservation on making such a decision like this is because I know what my personality is like and once I make a decision like this I become very stubborn and verge on extreme...

Good friends, and of course my family, know only too well these traits of my personality.  I guess for my family one of the events in my life that these two traits came to the fore was in highschool when I got myself four years deep into the consuming eating disorder of anorexia nervosa.  Now many, many, many years later this trait of extremism is still with me but the difference is I am aware of it now and mostly use it beneficially (it still catches up with me occasionally).

Enter the impending New Year's Eve of 2015 and as the day drew closer I kept thinking about a year without alcohol.  There were a few reasons being tossed around in my head as why this might be a good idea:

• I would never have a hangover the whole of 2016 and I knew that this would feel amazing!
• My liver and body would love me.
• Although I had had some of my most fun nights involving alcohol, almost all of my worst nights involved it as well.

What sealed the deal for me though was New Year's Eve 2015 where after quite a number of drinks both my husband and I dipped into a drunken quarrel which I'm sure anyone who has ever had more than a few drinks would know about.  And for me that was it.  I didn't want alcohol to be involved in my life for one year because although it could be fun, it could also cause a lot of un-fun!

For me, the most exciting, and surprising side effect of this resolution, is that I realised what role alcohol played in my life.  A couple of months into the new year there were a few Friday nights, where, after a big week at work, I thought to myself "I need a vanilla vodka and ginger beer" (this is my drink of choice and if you haven't tried it, do yourself a favour...or perhaps not, I don't know, I'm confused now as to whether I should be encouraging this or not?!).  Of course, in that moment I thought nothing of that thought, it wasn't until a few months after where I stopped feeling the need for alcohol to unwind that I realised I had used it for that purpose.  Yes, I used alcohol to celebrate and to be social, but I also used alcohol to manage my stress.

Enjoying some chocolate coconut ice cream after a one hour float.  Ahhhhh, this is bliss and a much different treat to a vanilla vodka and ginger beer!

This led me to discover what activities, outside of drinking, helped me manage my stress and bring back that happiness balance in my life.  For me these were dancing and singing (a regular occurrence in my car on a Friday afternoon), going to local gigs, going to the movies, catching up with friends over coffee or a meal, and of course yoga and meditation.  This has been a truly beautiful discovery for me and I have made so many wonderful memories this year with friends and family doing these activities without the need for alcohol to take the edge off "life" and help make me "happy".

I caught myself just yesterday saying to some people "I am going to sound really boring to you...".  And the reason I said this is I had just told them why I don't eat meat (we had ordered Indian and I was struggling dishing up the butter chicken and lamb curry they had ordered, another interesting side effect from embarking on a plant based diet) and then I was explaining why I would not take the wine they were offering me.  In that moment I thought to myself "you have to stop apologising for your life choices!"  I know that my personality can be extreme, and plenty of people point this out to me and in the past I have agreed with them and said "yeah, I know".  But in the last 24 hours I thought "f*@k it", I'm not going to apologise for it if it's not harming me or them.

So as I near the end of this year successfully completing the challenge I set myself, perhaps the realisation above is not only the most suprising to me (who would have thought a year without alcohol would give you this much resolve and self-assurance) it is most welcomed.  Three years ago this Boxing Day I decided to take on the label of "vegan" and since then I have had my slip-ups with cheese and have made occasional allowances with "happy eggs".  Even typing those words of "slip-ups" and "allowances" seems ridiculous to me.  And so, this year has certainly been an unexpected journey which has sprung from something as inane as removing alcohol from my liquid diet.  I have realised what role alcohol used to play in my life and also realised that as I start becoming the person I want to be in this life I should be proud rather than feel the need to apologise or explain.  So what's on the cards for next year?  Hopefully it won't take me a year to let you know.  Have a happy and safe festive season xx